What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
