He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize