why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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