I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
