her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
