Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
