idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize