hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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