So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
