i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
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I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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