haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
