I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Drake has all the answers
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
