Who did Billy Mays play for?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize