I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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