shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize