I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
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