i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
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