I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
