It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
