Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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