Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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