i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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