You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
