he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just googled if crying burns calories
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
