ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
