i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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