I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize