I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
its not stalking. its research.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
