she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
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