I wannas sexs uuuuu
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
