You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
