It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
