Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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