I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize