i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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