I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
