Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
