Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
