it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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