i jhust puked up my retainher.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
