Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize