Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
