My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize