Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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