where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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