I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
