I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
