Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
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I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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