You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
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Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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