Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
