Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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