I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
you inspire me to be a worse person
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
