She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
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you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
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