Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
