The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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