dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize